***Steve's POV***

There are a lot of bad things about being injured. First, it hurts. Second, you can't play. Third, you have entirely too much time to think. My knee doesn't hurt too much anymore, and until yesterday, the team was doing just fine without me. It's the thinking that really gets to me.

I'm torn between frustration and shock. How could I have been so blind? The way he used to watch me, the way he was so nervous around me, the way he pulled away when I touched him...

But how could I have known? In what bizarre world would Boyd being in love with me be a likely occurrence? How was I supposed to figure that out? I didn't even know he was gay!

Come to think of it, I really don’t know anything about him. Well, I know some of the more trivial things, but nothing important, nothing that would help me understand why a person I've always thought was positive and cheerful spent Wednesday night crying in the locker room.

And if I know so little about him, how would he know enough about me to love me? Maybe it's just a crush, just something he'll get over soon. Maybe it's just hero-worship. Maybe in two weeks he'll be following Shanny around like a lost puppy or giggling over Hull...

And maybe pigs will fly. Crushes aren't this deep, they don't cause the kind of pain I've seen in Boyd. God, poor guy. He's terrified of me. I don’t think I've ever had someone terrified of me before. It's not a good feeling, really. In fact, I think its safe to say I hate this feeling. I feel like I've done something wrong, that I'm not being a good captain. My players shouldn’t be afraid of me. This is so nuts.

Shanny warned me about this. He told me weeks ago that Boyd liked me and I blew him off. Maybe if I would have done something about the situation then, it wouldn’t have gotten so bad.

But what could I have done about it? Gone up to Boyd and asked him what was up with him liking me? That's so...elementary school. Damn, what am I supposed to do now? I have to do something. I can't just leave the situation like this, Boyd will self-destruct if something doesn't happen.

But WHAT? I am clueless. One hundred percent clueless. I've been a captain for sixteen years and I have never had to face a situation like this. I have dealt with teams that couldn’t make the playoffs. I have dealt with teams that made the playoffs only to lose. I have dealt with teammates who I thought I was going to lose. I have never dealt with unrequited love of this severity.

I don’t like that. I don’t like not knowing what to do. I'm not used to it.

I have to talk to him. I know that much. But what do I say? "Sorry Boyd, you just aren't my type. It's not you, it's me." Right, like that would help him to feel any better.

Unbidden, a memory of my dream during the Olympics comes back to me. Boyd...sitting in my lap...fuck, this isn’t good. This is not good. I have to be rational here, I don’t need a meaningless dream screwing up my thought processes.

But was it really meaningless?

It had to have been, because I....no. No, I don't love him. I don’t even know him. Maybe that's what I need to do, to get to know him, to be his friend. Maybe he just needs someone to talk to. But how am I supposed to do that when he's too afraid to even look at me?

This is all way too complicated for this late at night. I have at least until Wednesday's game to figure out what to do. I'm going to sleep now and hope that this whole situation doesn’t get any worse before I get a chance to work it out.

Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate.

- Alanis Morisette, "Uninvited"

Part 11 | Part 13