For the next road trip, after we get back from our brief Christmas break, I am once again rooming with Pavel. I have half a mind to complain to Keenan, but I don't feel like getting chewed out by the man. I decide to put up with him for a little bit longer.

I'm laying in my bed, late at night, around one, when Pavel slips out of his bed and crawls to my side.

He rests his cheek on my arm, which is hanging over the edge. "Val, can I sleep with you?" he asks, sounding like a little boy.

I shake him off of my arm, tiredly. "Go back to bed. We have a game tomorrow."

"I can't sleep."

"Take some sleeping pills."

"I don't like those pills, they knock me out for too long," he whines.

'Not long enough, apparently...' I sigh, relenting and pulling back the covers, letting him in with me. Although he's my elder by a few years, I feel like I'm the parent sometimes.

He puts his arms around me, immediately, and kisses my neck. "I knew you'd let me in," he says, contentedly.

"Not tonight," I snap, shoving an elbow into his ribs. "We need to sleep."

His hands slip lower, down over my chest. "Mmm."

"Don't you ever stop?" I pull away from him.

"Why would you let me into your bed if you didn't want to make love," he asks, pouting.

I shudder. "Don't call it that. We don't make love."

"What do we do then," he asks, pulling on the waist of my pajama bottoms. He snaps the elastic against my skin, laughing at me, mocking my weakness.

"We...we... Fuck, Pavel, what we do isn't beautiful. It's not an expression of our undying love for one another. It's...abnormal."

Pavel's hands stop, and I smile in the dark. "You don't mean that. It is TOO an expression of my love for you," he protests.

I don't reply. Instead I press myself against the cool wall and curl into a fetal ball. "Leave me alone and just go to sleep, or I'll throw you off the balcony."

He chuckles, fluffing one of my pillows and pressing his cheek against mine. "You know you love me, Val. Why else would you still let me touch you?"

I pause. Why WOULD I allow him to keep touching me, and using me even though Candace found me, and we started a family together?

Pavel's lips brush against my forehead. An act so tender, and yet so...disgusting. Dirty. Vile... "Good night, Val. Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite." He slips his arms around me, holding me against his bare chest.

I can't escape. He's smothering me.

Pavel nuzzles my neck with his lips. "Good night Val."

"Good night, Pasha." I close my eyes and wish this part of my life was one big nightmare.

Because you can awaken from a nightmare.

You can't awaken from life.

Part 3 | Part 5